Wednesday, February 08, 2006

NFL End of Season Thoughts:

Cool Stuff from the 2005 Season

---Steve Smith and Santana Moss showing teams that little guys can play big and be more than just possession receivers. You just have to have supernatural speed and incredible hops.

---The Steelers proving that it ain't over until the fat lady sings. Or at least until Jerome Bettis announces his retirement.

---Willie Parker coming out of nowhere to rush for over 1,000 yards.

---Carson Palmer turning into an all-pro type QB.

---The Patriots losing in the playoffs and Tom Brady proving me wrong. He is mortal and at least temporarily no longer employed by the Prince of Darkness.

---Clinton Portis interviews. This man is a genius.

---The Love Boat cruise. I know, I'm demented but if you have to have a storyline that's beat to death it might as well be one that involves strippers, boats, lawsuits, and Dante Culpepper denials.

---The Bears defense. At least until the Carolina game. They were pretty good. There is no other explanation for them being in the playoffs, especially with the division II offense they had.

Not So Cool Stuff from the 2005 Season

---Carson Palmer's injury. Ruined what could have been a nice playoff game.

---Payton Manning's annual playoff meltdown. Payton has a nasty habit of losing his cajones in big playoff games against tough defenses.

---P. Manning's off-season gift for his offensive lineman: constructive criticism from a "good teamate".

---Bad Beards. Kyle Orton, say it ain't so. Jake and Ben, the new Gillette has 5 freaking blades! It's pricey but I think you'll be allright.

---Gaps in teeth. Shaun Alexander and Michael Strahan, remember you're not in England, orthodontists can operate legally here in America.

---Matt Millen, Terrell Owens, Drew Rosenhaus, and Mike Martz. No explanation needed right?

---Joe Theismann masquerading as a broadcaster. Now he will be on the Monday night crew. Hopefully Kornheiser will call him out when he says stupid stuff. "What?! Joe that makes no sense at all. You just contradicted yourself 3 times in that sentence!" Of course this would happen every few minutes, so look for Kornheiser to be gone by midseason.

---Jim Mora giving up the smelling salts. Why Jim, why?

---The Jets bad luck at the QB position. I think at one point they considered bringing Joe Namath back. He was making out with ESPN's Suzy Colber though and couldn't be reached.

---SuperBowl XL. This year's version was kinda like that XL popcorn you eat in a movie theater. It looks like it might be tasty but after you've finished it you want to throw up.

---SuperBowl whining. I'm busting myself here. It's getting old, I know. I swear I'm through after today. I just don't care enough about either team to think about it anymore. But it did suck though didn't it? The Seahawks blew chance after chance, the refs blew their credibility, and other than two very cool plays (Randle El TD throw and the Parker TD run) the Steelers looked flat. Ok then. I'm done.

---Did I already say Mike Martz?

---The Rams season. Disappointing again this year for us Ram fans. Mediocre at best. Just a few quick hits on the Rams while I'm on the subject:
1. In case I haven't made it clear, Mike Martz gone from the Rams is a very good thing.

2. Marshall Faulk got screwed this past season. When he did get to play he showed that he still had the legs and moves to make a difference in a game. He should have been given at least a third of the carries per game.

3. I'm irrational when it comes to Marshall Faulk. I just wish he would respond to my invitations to come and hang out at my house. We could do cool stuff like look at my football card collection and watch episodes of The Office together.

4. Tory Holt showed why he is one of the best and most underrated receivers in the game. He tied for 2nd in the league for most receptions with 102. He was sixth in the league in yards with 1331 racked up. Plus he missed two games with injury.

5. Keys to success for next season. A) Upgrade the defensive personnel and schemes. B) Don't abandon the passing oriented offense but fine tune it so that Bulger is better protected (remember he moves like he is in quicksand) and the running game isn't forgotten for long stretches in the game. .

Okay most of you could care less about the Rams, but what about your teams or stuff you saw this year? What did you think was cool or not this past season? I’d be interested to know what I left out or what you didn’t agree with.

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