NFL Playoff Thoughts: Round 1

Patriots/Jaguars
Any Patriot that says they weren't licking their chops about the prospect of playing the Jags instead of the Steelers is flat out lying. Jacksonville is a decent team, but they were going nowhere in the playoffs. You knew it, I knew it, and belive me the Patriots knew it. Yeah, the Pats didn't always look good this year against above average competition. So what? It's January and they've got Tom Brady. And Tom Brady is the best damn quarterback in football. Excuse me while I go pull out my armpit hairs with my teeth. Sorry, any Tom Brady love on my part(or Patriot praise for that matter) requires immediate self mutilation. I wish it wasn't so but the only team that has a shot at beating the Patriots is the Colts. The Steelers and Broncos don't have Tom Brady. And no, I won't get off this point. Brady has sold his soul to the devil and has powers beyond a mortal human being. You can't compete with that. You just can't.
Next Week: Pats/Broncos----I'm picking the Patriots. Yes, I hate myself. I will be performing a painful toenail extraction later this evening.

Redskins/Buccaneers
I think both of these teams overachieved this year and the fact that they both made the playoffs is a bonus. So the Bucs should feel positive about their season and look to the future. Simms looks like he could be a legitimate starter with a few more games under his belt. Although he really looks shaky when he doesn't get enough time for a 7 step drop. When he can take that deep drop with protection, he can hit about anybody. When he throws short or he's hurried he's less than stellar.
Next week: Redskins/Seahawks---It's been a nice run for the Redskins but they are going home next week.

Giants/Panthers
Eli, Eli, where art thou? Oh yeah....throwing an interception, that's where. I hope this is not an omen for his Kenny Loggin lovin older brother. Where did the Giant's run defense go to? And how can you score 0 points at home? That was so painful to watch that I even started to have the"hi, I'm Eli and I'm constipated" look on my face. Anyway I'm not really a Giants fan but I did have visions of a Manning Bowl and counting how many times the two brothers were asked how it would feel to play each other. Not to mention the ten million camera shots of Archie that we would have had the pleasure to see if they both were in the big game. "Oh look there's Archie picking his nose, I wonder if that means he's rooting for Payton?" or "look Momma Manning is on the phone,..read her lips..she just laid a grand on Eli, she must know something.." ---Lets be honest, that's quality football drama that will be lost.
--Anyway, the Panthers have Steve Smith on their team. He's freaking good by the way, and I'll always cheer a former Ute. Delhomme would still scare the sh-- out of me if I was a Panther fan but his crazy interceptions have been in hibernation for a couple of weeks...so they got that going for them..which is nice.
Next week: Panthers/Chicago---I'm going to have to agree with Greg over at SportsBlah.com and The Zoner and put the Bears in the awesome category. My pick is for the Bears as long as Kyle Orton keeps the stocking cap on his head and the helmet in his arms.

Bengals/Steelers
I was really pissed when Palmer went down. Talk about bad luck. Perfect deep throw to start the game. I don't know if they would have won but it would have been a hell of a lot more interesting. Kitna is a good backup but we all knew once the Steelers went up that this game was over. -
--By the way, I really like Pittsburgh's Willie Parker. Anybody with a name like "Fast Willie" is welcome at Wednesday's Tag-Team Uno Night with me anytime.
Next week: Steelers/Colts---I can't remember the last time the Colts looked good--it may have been somewhere around Thanksgiving. That's the problem with putting it on cruise control for so long. However, when you see Palmer going down for the Bengals you realize it would have only taken one play in December where Manning hit the deck and the Colt's chances would have been slim and nada in the postseason. So they're rusty but if they survive against the Steelers maybe they'll be prepared when they play the Patriots. I think the Steelers definately have a shot at this but I'm picking the Colts to pull it out.