NFL Thoughts: Week 8

---During the offseason I had high hopes for the Rams. I thought this might be the year to take a weak division. At worst I thought they might be a .500 team. Not in my wildest dreams did I think they would be worse than the Raiders and Browns. So do I start looking to the draft yet? Somebody shoot me please. Actually don't shoot me. That's just a figure of speech you know. But seriously somebody shoot me please.

----How sick am I? It's Sunday, a fairly religious day in the Christian world and yet I'm watching part of the Patriots game (I don't know why I torture myself) and I'm praying for Brady to suffer a broken leg and Belichick to be taken out hard on some play going out of bounds. I'm mean I really want them both physically hurt. I'm not well. My Rams are 0-8. Did I mention that?

---My prediction for the big game next week: I think the Colts will make it competitive but it will still be a 14 to 21 point victory for the Pats. Think back to the playoffs last year. The Patriots almost beat them with crappy receivers. A few bounces went the Colts way and a few bounces went against New England. It could very easily have ended differently. Now the Pats have the weapons and I just can't see enough breaks going the Colts way. Believe me I wish I could see it differently but the Colts are playing great football and the Pats are playing superhero type football. It's like they are Batman and the Colts are Robin. Unless the injury bug hits New England (new voodoo dolls are being worked on--trust me) and/or they sit their starters for the last game of the season, they will smash through the regular and post-season undefeated. Bastards.

---What a crappy game in London. But what the hell, I mean the Brits are used to seeing boring games. They get low scoring snore-fests on a regular basis with their own version of "football".

---I can't believe how uninteresting the teams are in the NFL season are this season. The Chargers and Saints are starting to show some life which is encouraging but there are so many uninspiring teams out there that my NFL Sunday ticket on Direct TV is really being wasted. I just don't care about many of the teams or players. This is the season that will finally drive me to playing fantasy football. I've resisted for years but I can tell that with my Rams abysmally bad for the foreseeable future I'm going to need something to get me more excited about my favorite sport.

NFL Thoughts: Week 7

This post is negative enough to cause my wife to ask me if I'm in need of some Prosac. She might have a point. On to my whining:

--I'm starting to think like Greg Easterbrook (Tuesday Morning Quarterback--ESPN). I'm noticing coaches who get gutless on 4th down. The Saints punted today in the first half when they had a 4th and 3 at the Atlanta 34 yard line! You read that right. They were only 14 yards away from where the Falcons would get the ball if the punt goes into the end zone! To quote Vince Lombardi, "what the hell is going on out here?!" ---This makes me want to end every sentence in exclamation marks!! How does a coach ever make a decision like that? I mean doesn't another coach or even the QB himself shake the coach and say, "dude what are you thinking? That's nuts!". I can understand not going for a 51 yard field goal but when you have less than 5 yards for a first down why the hell don't you go for it? I mean even if you fail you leave the Falcons with 65+ yards to go for a Touchdown. It's not like you are giving them great field position.

---Moving on.......is it too late to take back that contract extension for Mark Bulger?

---Speaking of which, Seattle is probably wondering why they decided to hang on to Alexander now that he seems headed in the direction of becoming a 30 year old running back cliche .

---Holy meltdown. What a pile of doo-doo the Jets laid on the field for their second half. The Bengals deserve credit for taking advantage of it but how do you sleep after losing that game if you're NY?

---I'm required to say something nasty about the Patriots right about here. After their performance today I don't know what to say. Wait....yes I do. I hope every single one of them burns in hell. There-- that works for me.

---Oh crap..... I guess I'm not through talking about the Pats. I have to say that each week it's like their evil mastery of the game of football seems to render every other game meaningless. Everybody else is just playing for paychecks this year. At least it seems that way so far. The only thing that gives me a sliver of hope is the fact that the past couple of years the Super Bowl champion is a team that in mid-November I said, "well there is no way in hell that team will be playing past Christmas". I mean seriously, two years ago the Steelers were lucky to even get in the playoffs. Then they rolled through them. Last year the Colts (who had been many people's favorites two straight years prior to that) were good as always on offense but their defense was so bad that you would have been crazy to predict a strong playoff run. Then somebody on their team (I'm guessing not Dungy--but quite possibly Manning) sold their soul to the devil and their defense transformed into the "Steel Curtain" of the 70's.

Anyway my point is that things have been pretty weird the past couple of years. So I'm hoping things continue in that vein. The bucket of urine for this ray of hope that I'm spouting is the depressingly annoying Patriots themselves. They seem to be unstoppable. I don't remember a team being talked about this way since the 1985 Bears. And I was in Middle School at the time so my memory is admittedly suspect. Still, I remember people talking about them being the one of the greatest teams of all time. And this was even before Halloween that year. This Patriots team has that same feel to it.

--Also, anyone watch those poker tourneys on ESPN or other cable channels? Don't the Pats remind you of Poker star, Phil Helmuth? So good--and he knows it, but everyone in the room would love to see somebody knock him out. And I'm not talking about out of the tourney. I'm seeing many parallels here.

---I can't stop bitching about this team. I just can't. I have to say one more thing about these minions of Satan and their fan base. In fact it pertains to one of their most well know fans, Bill Simmons. I'm getting pretty annoyed with the whole martyr act he, other Pats fans, and the team itself is putting on. Because they got caught cheating, and a few people wondered if they may have been cheating during their Super Bowl years ( a perfectly valid question) they are acting like victims of some cruel conspiracy. The "We'll show you" attitude is childish, and aggravating. It's like they somehow they feel they've been wronged instead of admitting the fact that it was their team and specifically their coach that did something wrong. Just one more reason to hate these weenies.

--I think I'm done venting about "that team". My Rams are pitiful and I'll admit my frustration with them has led me to direct my anger towards teams, players and coaches that I really dislike. I've got to stop though because I'm not enjoying this season at all. You can probably sense that in these negative posts.

---On a positive note, the wife told me she needs to relieve some stress tonight. She winked at me when she said that. I think that's a good thing. ----And with that I've left some of you in need of some Prosac.

NFL Thoughts: Week 6

Some brief thoughts on week 6:


---Brady and the Pats are so far above any other QB and team this year that it's downright ridiculous. But their coach is still a dick. Belichick is intent on proving he's not only a cheat but that he's a gutless bastard with absolutely no moral compass as well. His desire to run up the score on Wade Philips shows just how petty of a man he is. What an ass. I know there's not much of a chance of it happening this year, but I hope karma really comes back to bite him in the nutsack.


---My Rams are unwatchable.


---Finally, some vintage stuff from Reggie Bush this year.


---Donovon McNabb needs to keep throwing it to Kevin Curtis. Good things happen when he does.

---The Browns are an offensive juggernaut. How is this not a bigger story?

---Marvin Lewis should probably be fired this season if the Bengals don't start playing better. They have way too much talent for them to be under .500

---I'm liking Adrian Peterson more and more. He reminds me of Eric Dickerson.

NFL Thoughts: Week 5

Some random thoughts rolling around in my head after this past weekend:

---My Rams are still horrible this year but at least they scored some TDs this week. In fact maybe the outcome of their game with the Cardinals would have been different had the refs not totally screwed the Rams on a replay challenge. I mean how blind do they have to be to not see that Edgerrin James fumbled before he got into the end zone? And if they did believe he fumbled before hitting the goal line then they obviously missed the next call which was that the Rams recovered the ball in the endzone. A Cardinal eventually came up with the ball but not until the Ram player had possession, was down and then lost the ball. Either way the replay was clear on both points. It's not one of those plays where they lacked indisputable proof. It doesn't get any more indisputable! %$#&*! I'm still foaming at the mouth over this. Replay is supposed to fix that kind of crap! It's not the only reason the Rams lost, but how can you say a 7 point swing is not critical to a game. The Cards won by 3. I'm going to shut up now before I hyperventilate.

----The only way the Patriots are being stopped this year is if someone hires a hitman to take out Brady's knees. Sort of like a Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding thing (look it up if these names make no sense). Seriously Brady cannot be stopped without intervention. What?! I'm not advocating it. I'm just saying.

---Who the hell is impersonating Drew Brees this season? That can't be the same guy who was so solid for the Chargers and downright awesome last year for the Saints. I'm baffled with the Saints and Brees especially. I know his receivers dropped some balls yesterday, but let's face it; he looks bad. In fact if we were evaluating who looks better: me in the shower or Brees on a football field, I'd probably edge him out. Considering how I look in the buff that's saying something.

---And speaking of the Saints, it's official now. Reggie Bush is a huge disappointment. When does he hit official "Bust" status? It's looming closer and closer.

--- I can't believe the Packers lost that game. They gave it away! Truly a time when a team doesn't win as much as the other team lost.

----As an ex-kicker I can feel some joy towards Texans kicker Chris Brown. If any kicker ever deserves a game ball he does. 5 field goals with 2 of them 54 yards and a nail in the coffin kick of 57 yards. Wow.

---The Chargers Michael Turner has to be a bit frustrated. Every time he gets in the game he does well. He's obviously a talented runner. But he's 25 years old, and going into his 4th year. Even if he gets a free agent deal after this season, he'll be lucky to get 3-4 years as the number one guy. That's more than many running backs get I know, but if he's as talented as it seems, it's not long enough.

Mooning over Mike Martz

Seth Wikersham has an article today on ESPN.com that I found interesting. He talks about how Mike Martz is doing well in Detroit and St. Louis fans have to be yearning to have Martz back now that the Ram offense is in shambles under head coach Scott Linehan.
He has one thing right. We Ram fans do yearn for the "greatest show on turf". But Martz as a head coach? Never. Martz is a great offensive coordinator as Detroit is finding out. But he sucks as a head coach. He can't handle all the responsibilities. He calls timeouts when he shouldn't, he can't manage the clock or an overall game plan, and he looks like and talks like a pedophile.

Sorry , that last one has no relevance.

Still true though.

Anyway, Detroit (and teams that are head coach hunting) should not forget the lessons we Rams fans have learned. That is that Martz can't multi-task. He's good at one thing. Offense. That's it. If you get sucked into the idea that he's smart at offense so he could be smart in other things too, you'll be in for many frustrating days to come. Not to mention if he gets a head coaching gig he'll start doing press conferences again and you don't want that. On a creepiness scale Martz ranks right up there with Shanahan and Belichick. Trust me on this.

NFL Thoughts: Week 4

---I hate to say this but I'm not going to Tivo my Rams this coming weekend (first time since I got the NFL Sunday ticket). I'm not abandoning them as a fan but I'm not the type of person who likes to watch train wrecks. I've got plenty of other ways to torture myself so I'm going to watch games that don't inspire me to stick my head in an oven.


---speaking of which, I also refuse to watch Patriot games. I'm mad as hell that Randy Moss is on their team this year. This might go down in history as the greatest team ever. It makes me sick to my stomach.

---On a positive note Green Bay is doing well, which means Favre is doing well and that's always nice. I like Favre but it was pretty annoying to watch the media (who love Favre too) elevate him to God-like status even when he was playing terrible. Everybody was making excuses for him. At least when he is playing well the love sounds more legitimate. Did you read about Terry Bradshaw's man-crush on Favre though? He wrote this week that Favre's the best QB ever. Huh? Hall of famer? Yes. Better than Marino? Yes. Best ever? Not even close. Montana, Brady, Elway, & maybe Manning rank above Favre in my mind. I could see maybe calling him the best QB in the game for a couple of years (96-97) but that's all. Having said that, I'm still a Favre fan and I'm enjoying his resurgence.

---And you know what....people have been comparing Tony Romo to Favre lately. And I get it. I see it too. He's plays with a bit of recklessness and he genuinely looks like he's having fun playing the game. I have been anti-Cowboys for a few years now but even I like Romo. He's fun to watch and if not for the fact that Dalls still has Jerry Jones and Terrell Owens, I might actully like Romo's team.


---I say don't pile on Brian Griese yet. I still think he's an upgrade for Chicago. He's rusty but I believe he'll get better.


----Is Donovan McNabb bi-polar? His line was in shambles but he still looked terrible on so many of his throws.

---Cleveland has morphed into the Colts the past couple of weeks and I'm wondering which member of the organization sold his sould to Satan for that to happen.